What now?

As I approach a time of great change in my life, I’ve started to realise how ‘numb’ I’ve been these past few years. I’ve been so busy having and taking care of my babies and juggling a job (that I out grew years ago) I forgot to stop and really think. Think about what stirs me, what I feel a true passion for, what really interests me and what I want to do with the rest of my professional life?!! It goes without saying that I am fiercely passionate about my husband and kids, they indeed stir me and everything they do interests me but what about my career? What about me?

I am due to leave a job soon that I’ve had for what feels like forever. I joined the company back in 2001 a mere 3 months after my dream wedding. I was young, ambitious, bullish and sometimes unnecessarily aggressive but I was good. Bloody good. The job was a huge step for me and I took on the challenge with courage and determination. I think I actually made a difference and people listened when I spoke – my opinions mattered. So forward wind over eight years later and where am I now? I am still in the same job (albeit a smaller, part-time version) but I am not the same person, not by a long shot! I have lost most of my bullishness, I’m very rarely aggressive, and I’ve learned (the hard way) the art of less is more. In many ways, I am much nicer person to work with than I was. Having kids tamed me and my focus has been on them, not my career and it shows. My spark has gone, I have no enthusiasm left, I’ve been overlooked for younger and hungrier predecessors and you know what, I don’t actually care! I am looking forward to walking through the door and start something fresh.

I have no idea what I am going to do. I do know that I want to rediscover some of that young, driven young girl I once was. I want to feel fired up and ready for anything like I used to. I want to be a success. It matters. I didn’t think it did, but it does.

BUT…….above all that, I want to be a hands on, loving and most importantly ‘available’ mother to my beautiful girls. It’s taken a while but I’ve finally found peace with the idea that they and being their mother is what matters most and no career or job is ever worth compromising that for. Now listen, I don’t judge, each woman has to find her own path. Me personally, I am looking for a professional life that delivers for me on both levels and I am acutely aware that it won’t be easy. But I am determined, driven and passionate about making it happen. So maybe I’ve not changed that much after all?

The dreaded 'nits'

OK so I've had better days!! Woke up this morning, Olivia climbs into bed (it's still dark) and I pretend to still be asleep and then I hear it, scratch scratch scratch.......she's furiously itching her head and I have a sinking feeling deep inside, she's caught the bloody headlice arghhhhhhhh!! We had a letter last week from school warning parents that headlice have been reported in her class and I put the thought aside however, now it has become apparent that my own child, the one who is clean, well brought up and from a lovely clean home has caught nits!!!! So I put the light on, start checking and there it bloody well is, the mosquito sized, living and moving nit!!! Gross.

So, an unexpected day off was the result, a rush trip to the chemist to get the treatment (£11 - WHAT?!!) and a morning of hair washing, combing and drying,

All done now, Georgia has also been treated and life returns to normal.

Life as a Mum eh, never ever dull :0)

Friendship

I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship lately. I’m not sure if it’s the change in season or just me growing older and wiser with each passing month? I am blessed to have a fantastic group of friends and they each enrich my life in their own unique way. I hope to that I give them something valuable and meaningful in return. Some friends I’ve had for years and years others have come along much later in my life.

I’ve come to realise that to be a good and true friend is something you have to really work on. You have to be willing to give your own energy and time to nurturing a friendship and it has to be a reciprocal thing. A recent quote I read captures is much better than I ever could:-

‘Friendship is a form of mutual selflessness, an intricate and delicate exercise in give-and-take and trust-building through which people who are not related become honorary family’.

I’ve been very lucky in my life and made some amazing connections to some amazing people. Some friendships have stood the test of time, others have wavered or drifted away and others are in their infancy and require a more time and effort to truly evolve.

Being a busy Mum and wife can result in an insanely busy and frantic life at times. My children and husband quite rightly get the lion’s share of my emotional time and energy and there is sometimes not much left to give to anyone else. But, I’ve made a conscious choice to focus on those special people who make my life a more fun, happy and fulfilling one!! A good friend remembers the little things, is always available to listen, offers help without being asked, is there to laugh and cry with and give of themselves without expectation of something in return. I wish I could say I always tick these boxes but I know that I have room for improvement.

I’m not always the best at letting my friends know how much they mean to me but I love you all and my life would be so much less without you in it!!! I’ll leave you with this thought:-

‘Friendship without self interest is one of the rare and beautiful things in life’

- James Francis Byrnes

Photo used courtesy of Thomas Hawk under a creative commons license.

Things I'm loving at the moment......

1. Peter Andre ( I want to give him a cuddle)
2. Crisp sunny mornings
3. King prawns with chilli & spicy salt
4. Weeds on DVD (better late than never)
5. Entourage on ITV2

6. Quality cookery programmes
7. Fresh sea air
8. Jack Penate
9. Watching my kids play nicely together at last!
10. Dreaming of where to go for a weekend break with hubby

Live for the moment

We've had a pretty busy time of late in the Harvey household, hence the lack of blog updates. I had the last week or so of the summer holidays off work and managed to enjoy some quality time out and about with the girls. Actually, weather and tiredness meant we ended up spending a fair amount of time together at home and it was really lovely (if not a little bit challenging at times!!). We did loads of painting, baking, reading, role playing and watched movies together and it was really special!

Olivia is now back at school in year 1 and seems to grow up more and more each day. She's starting to show some real emotional maturity and is just a happy, bubbly little girl with a zest for life and new experiences!! I'll miss her when she's not around on my days off.

Georgia too has reached a milestone and started pre-school this week. Again, I am so proud of how adaptable she is and how confident and outgoing she appears to be. For such a small girl, she has a big personality and has already captivated the staff and other little kids at her pre-school with her winning smile, readiness to try new things and her sunny disposition.

Roland too has begun a new chapter with his new job. I am so pleased to see him regain his drive, his confidence and his positive attitude in the last couple of weeks. I really hope this is one that will last and enable him to really shine and show people what he's truly capable of!!

As for me, I am the only one in need of something new and interesting to get my juices going. I am in a transitional phase career wise and hope a new chapter may also be on the cards for me. I am for now though planning on enjoying the normality of family life again (after all we've been through lately some good old fashioned ground hog days are actually quite nice) and taking each day as it comes.

I believe life is for living in the moment and I for one don't spend too much time looking ahead and worrying about what is to come. Enjoy today and the rest will take care of itself.

Pottygate update

I thought I’d just update you on our progress with the potty training! I read my post from a week or so ago and can’t believe I nearly gave up on Georgia!! We have really turned the corner and mostly cracked it now which is a great feeling. It was a very tough start but we kept going, changed our approach and hey presto – she got it!!! This book was a great help too (they do a version for boys) and I’d recommend it to anyone entering the dark world of potty training!

Things happen for a reason

There are lots of changes taking place in our lives at the moment. After nearly nine months of being out of work, Roland has now started his new job and things are beginning to feel like they are getting back to normal. Whilst this means that my own life is a little more stressful and busy as a result (I now have full responsibility for getting the kids out to school/pre-school in the morning before I go to work and then collecting them at the end of the day (when we’re all tired and grouchy) I am still very excited to have some routine and normality back in our lives.

We’ve been through the mill a bit in recent months and have had some tough times. We’re both feeling positive and happy about the future now and looking forward to the autumn beginning and all that brings.

As I said in a previous post ‘Life is like a box of chocolates and you never know which one you’re gonna get’. Right now, I feel grateful for my family life, happier than I have in a while and am full of enthusiasm for the future!! Things change, shit happens, life goes on……………………………….my new motto is ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’ which I have been guilty of doing far too much of. 

Tough times give you a new perspective on things and things happen for a reason. I know who and what’s important and will focus on being there for the people that matter and most importantly, remember to enjoy life as you never know what’s round the corner!!!

Hey world

Just trying out my new lifestreaming site on posterous.

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