Time flies when you're having fun

So today was a good day. Since Georgia was born in December 06 I have been enjoying some quality time with her each week whilst my eldest is at pre-school. The time to return to work is fast approaching and I am starting to feel some panic and distress at the the thought of leaving Georgia after being with her 24 x 7 for the past nine months (and the nine months before that when she was living inside me!).

Now it must be noted that at first, I wouldn't say I did particularly enjoy Georgia in the way that I do now. By that I mean the newborn stage (to me at least) is tough tough tough and with Georgia's health woes and feeding problems, most of the early days went by in a blur and I didn't take the time to enjoy those magic moments enough. Top that off with an immense amount of guilt that I felt about bringing another child into our home and therefore giving Olivia less time and attention as a result, I really did put myself through an emotional roller coaster in those early weeks. If I look back now, I was tearing myself apart with guilt, worry and self doubt and felt like I was failing everyone including myself! If only I could have seen into the future..........

As a mother I do put myself under incredible pressure to be perfect and I am aware that it is not a healthy trait of mine. I know I do a bloody good job and I know this because I have two of the happiest children I know and for that I am incredibly proud and grateful. I took a walk today with Georgia in the pram, just the two of us, and the sun was shining and I loved it!! She was cooing at the sight of trees, clouds and all sorts (honestly, the sound of those little "oooooohhhhhhs" will stay with me forever) and it took me back to the days I spent doing the same with Olivia and I felt very emotional and reflective.

We don't plan on expanding our brood any further btw and so these days spent with my babies are the most precious of my life. I am watching Olivia grow into a lovely little girl and I know I'll blink and Georgia too will be walking, talking and having tantrums so I plan on making the most of every precious minute between now and when I go back to work.

We are starting a new chapter with a new home soon and I feel really great about our life. I'm sooo in love with my girls it hurts and I am still very much in love with my hubby too (which after 11 years and 2 kids can't be bad) and I am happier than I can ever remember in years.