Thursday, August 30, 2007
Oh by the way
I just managed to dance to "The Fairies" (a camp children's programme where they sing and dance about to cheesy Grease rip off songs), dealt with Georgia being stuck under the DVD player, made the beds, found some toys that Olivia wants to play with and drink my luke warm tea and get myself some crunchy nut cornflakes - all in the space of half an hour!
Urghhhhh
It is 8.05am, I have been awake since 5.07am (Georgia hit her head on the side of the cot and then decided she would like her milk!), To be fair, hubby fed her in the end and got up as he is going to Warrington today for work!! So I managed to her back to sleep until 6.30am when Georgia got up and then Olivia woke at 7.15am so we have just come downstairs for breakfast etc and then the day begins in earnest.
Every single day, without fail, I am knackered!! I feel like I could go back to bed until noon and sleep like a baby but never get the chance. I cannot remember the last time I woke up naturally, feeling wide awake and raring to go?!!
It is now 8.09am and it will no doubt be 10am before I am dressed and feeling a bit more awake and human. Until then I'll feed the kids, clear up, get them dressed and mong about in a bit of a grump - urghhhh.
Now for a little fantasy - my doorbell rings and David Beckham is standing there and in his hand is a freshly brewed skinny latte and a bacon roll and a copy of the new Grazia magazine. He brings in a nanny to entertain the kids and then sends me back up to bed .........and you know what? Right now, I'd prefer the bacon sarnie, coffee,magazine and some peace and quiet!!!
Every single day, without fail, I am knackered!! I feel like I could go back to bed until noon and sleep like a baby but never get the chance. I cannot remember the last time I woke up naturally, feeling wide awake and raring to go?!!
It is now 8.09am and it will no doubt be 10am before I am dressed and feeling a bit more awake and human. Until then I'll feed the kids, clear up, get them dressed and mong about in a bit of a grump - urghhhh.
Now for a little fantasy - my doorbell rings and David Beckham is standing there and in his hand is a freshly brewed skinny latte and a bacon roll and a copy of the new Grazia magazine. He brings in a nanny to entertain the kids and then sends me back up to bed .........and you know what? Right now, I'd prefer the bacon sarnie, coffee,magazine and some peace and quiet!!!
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Time flies when you're having fun
So today was a good day. Since Georgia was born in December 06 I have been enjoying some quality time with her each week whilst my eldest is at pre-school. The time to return to work is fast approaching and I am starting to feel some panic and distress at the the thought of leaving Georgia after being with her 24 x 7 for the past nine months (and the nine months before that when she was living inside me!).
Now it must be noted that at first, I wouldn't say I did particularly enjoy Georgia in the way that I do now. By that I mean the newborn stage (to me at least) is tough tough tough and with Georgia's health woes and feeding problems, most of the early days went by in a blur and I didn't take the time to enjoy those magic moments enough. Top that off with an immense amount of guilt that I felt about bringing another child into our home and therefore giving Olivia less time and attention as a result, I really did put myself through an emotional roller coaster in those early weeks. If I look back now, I was tearing myself apart with guilt, worry and self doubt and felt like I was failing everyone including myself! If only I could have seen into the future..........
As a mother I do put myself under incredible pressure to be perfect and I am aware that it is not a healthy trait of mine. I know I do a bloody good job and I know this because I have two of the happiest children I know and for that I am incredibly proud and grateful. I took a walk today with Georgia in the pram, just the two of us, and the sun was shining and I loved it!! She was cooing at the sight of trees, clouds and all sorts (honestly, the sound of those little "oooooohhhhhhs" will stay with me forever) and it took me back to the days I spent doing the same with Olivia and I felt very emotional and reflective.
We don't plan on expanding our brood any further btw and so these days spent with my babies are the most precious of my life. I am watching Olivia grow into a lovely little girl and I know I'll blink and Georgia too will be walking, talking and having tantrums so I plan on making the most of every precious minute between now and when I go back to work.
We are starting a new chapter with a new home soon and I feel really great about our life. I'm sooo in love with my girls it hurts and I am still very much in love with my hubby too (which after 11 years and 2 kids can't be bad) and I am happier than I can ever remember in years.
Now it must be noted that at first, I wouldn't say I did particularly enjoy Georgia in the way that I do now. By that I mean the newborn stage (to me at least) is tough tough tough and with Georgia's health woes and feeding problems, most of the early days went by in a blur and I didn't take the time to enjoy those magic moments enough. Top that off with an immense amount of guilt that I felt about bringing another child into our home and therefore giving Olivia less time and attention as a result, I really did put myself through an emotional roller coaster in those early weeks. If I look back now, I was tearing myself apart with guilt, worry and self doubt and felt like I was failing everyone including myself! If only I could have seen into the future..........
As a mother I do put myself under incredible pressure to be perfect and I am aware that it is not a healthy trait of mine. I know I do a bloody good job and I know this because I have two of the happiest children I know and for that I am incredibly proud and grateful. I took a walk today with Georgia in the pram, just the two of us, and the sun was shining and I loved it!! She was cooing at the sight of trees, clouds and all sorts (honestly, the sound of those little "oooooohhhhhhs" will stay with me forever) and it took me back to the days I spent doing the same with Olivia and I felt very emotional and reflective.
We don't plan on expanding our brood any further btw and so these days spent with my babies are the most precious of my life. I am watching Olivia grow into a lovely little girl and I know I'll blink and Georgia too will be walking, talking and having tantrums so I plan on making the most of every precious minute between now and when I go back to work.
We are starting a new chapter with a new home soon and I feel really great about our life. I'm sooo in love with my girls it hurts and I am still very much in love with my hubby too (which after 11 years and 2 kids can't be bad) and I am happier than I can ever remember in years.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Wonderwoman!
My day today:-
12 Midnight - woken by 3 year old screaming for her Daddy who has been away on business
4am - woken by 7 month old baby screaming with pain from cutting her first tooth
6.30am - woken by said 7 month old who was babbling in her cot and wanting company
7.30am - 3 year old wakes so we all head downstairs
8.30am - feed both kids, clean up after both kids
9am - change nappy, feed milk to baby, put baby to bed for her nap
9.15am - dress 3 year old and play
10am - clean kitchen, wash baby bottles and pack bags ready to go out
10.30am - shower, dress and get ready to leave
11am - wake baby, change nappy and get her dressed
11.30am - hand baby over to my Mum who is looking after her for a few hours along with 2 bags and a plethora of baby paraphernalia
12.30 - attend birthday party with 3 year old = mess, mayhem and madness
4pm - collect baby from my Mum
5pm - get home, feed both kids, clean up both kids, deal with whingy baby and whining toddler - both overtired
6pm - clean up kitchen, unpack bags from today
6.30pm - bath both kids, deal with tantrum, feed baby her milk
7pm - put baby to bed, cuddle toddler and watch 'Maggie and the Ferocious Beast'
7.15pm - put toddler to bed, read story (twice!), lots of cuddles, lullaby's, and comfort her when she cries again for Daddy
7.45p - finally say goodnight
7.50pm - pour a glass of wine, sit down and watch big brother
8pm - wait for it all to start again........
PHEW
12 Midnight - woken by 3 year old screaming for her Daddy who has been away on business
4am - woken by 7 month old baby screaming with pain from cutting her first tooth
6.30am - woken by said 7 month old who was babbling in her cot and wanting company
7.30am - 3 year old wakes so we all head downstairs
8.30am - feed both kids, clean up after both kids
9am - change nappy, feed milk to baby, put baby to bed for her nap
9.15am - dress 3 year old and play
10am - clean kitchen, wash baby bottles and pack bags ready to go out
10.30am - shower, dress and get ready to leave
11am - wake baby, change nappy and get her dressed
11.30am - hand baby over to my Mum who is looking after her for a few hours along with 2 bags and a plethora of baby paraphernalia
12.30 - attend birthday party with 3 year old = mess, mayhem and madness
4pm - collect baby from my Mum
5pm - get home, feed both kids, clean up both kids, deal with whingy baby and whining toddler - both overtired
6pm - clean up kitchen, unpack bags from today
6.30pm - bath both kids, deal with tantrum, feed baby her milk
7pm - put baby to bed, cuddle toddler and watch 'Maggie and the Ferocious Beast'
7.15pm - put toddler to bed, read story (twice!), lots of cuddles, lullaby's, and comfort her when she cries again for Daddy
7.45p - finally say goodnight
7.50pm - pour a glass of wine, sit down and watch big brother
8pm - wait for it all to start again........
PHEW
Friday, August 10, 2007
Ups and downs
So today was a nice day. Roland took the day off work as he flies to the US tomorrow for a business trip therefore he spent most of the day keeping the girls happy and giving me a bit of a break. Girls are fab and life is good. As for the house buying process, it sucks! Lots of stress and hassle at the last minute but fingers crossed we will still exchange next week and proceed - if not, it obviously wasn't meant to be?!
I have been strangely obsessed with the Madeline McCann investigation this week and the recent media coverage and developments. Having a daughter of a similar age, I have been a little too interested in the case since it happened but recently had managed to move on and not think about it too much. From the first days since she went missing, I have had an uneasy feeling about the theory that she was just taken from her bed, apparently 50 yards away from her parents and no-one heard or saw anything????? I have a 3 year old and believe me, if someone was taking her away from her bed who she had never met she would scream the bloody place down!! How someone could have taken Madeline alive with no noise, screaming or waking her siblings I just don't buy it. That means two things to me, either someone harmed her in the apartment and took her out either unconscious or (God forbid) dead OR there is something fishy about her family's involvement in all this.
As a parent I can only tell you that I would not be able to function, barely breathe, if the scenario that faced the McCanns happened to us. I definitely don't think I would have the strength to walk about and talk to the media the way her parents appeared to. Their reaction to is all seemed very peculiar to me at the time but I, like most, was in awe of their strength and courage and their blind faith that she was OK.
I choose to believe that they are not involved and hope and pray that she was taken and is alive and well. BUT, in my heart, I just do not believe she was simply kidnapped from her bed. I think someone has harmed her and that she is no longer with us and that truly breaks my heart. I hope I am wrong and I hope that there is an answer and end to this nightmare soon.
In the meantime, I will continue to be an unapologetic paranoid mother who never lets her children out of her sight when out and about.
When I check the girls before I go to bed, and smell their smell and listen to their heavy, snuffly breathing, I thank God that they are safe and well and I spare a thought for that little girl every night.
I have been strangely obsessed with the Madeline McCann investigation this week and the recent media coverage and developments. Having a daughter of a similar age, I have been a little too interested in the case since it happened but recently had managed to move on and not think about it too much. From the first days since she went missing, I have had an uneasy feeling about the theory that she was just taken from her bed, apparently 50 yards away from her parents and no-one heard or saw anything????? I have a 3 year old and believe me, if someone was taking her away from her bed who she had never met she would scream the bloody place down!! How someone could have taken Madeline alive with no noise, screaming or waking her siblings I just don't buy it. That means two things to me, either someone harmed her in the apartment and took her out either unconscious or (God forbid) dead OR there is something fishy about her family's involvement in all this.
As a parent I can only tell you that I would not be able to function, barely breathe, if the scenario that faced the McCanns happened to us. I definitely don't think I would have the strength to walk about and talk to the media the way her parents appeared to. Their reaction to is all seemed very peculiar to me at the time but I, like most, was in awe of their strength and courage and their blind faith that she was OK.
I choose to believe that they are not involved and hope and pray that she was taken and is alive and well. BUT, in my heart, I just do not believe she was simply kidnapped from her bed. I think someone has harmed her and that she is no longer with us and that truly breaks my heart. I hope I am wrong and I hope that there is an answer and end to this nightmare soon.
In the meantime, I will continue to be an unapologetic paranoid mother who never lets her children out of her sight when out and about.
When I check the girls before I go to bed, and smell their smell and listen to their heavy, snuffly breathing, I thank God that they are safe and well and I spare a thought for that little girl every night.
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