Motherhood

Well here we are on Mothers day 2008. My thoughts are very mixed today. Having decided we'd like to have a baby in late 2003, we soon discovered we were expecting a baby without even really trying and so we began our journey toward parenthood. With our naive blinkers on we were that couple who said having a baby wouldn't stop us having a social life, baby would have to fit in etc etc. Then on June 13th 2004 our lives changed forever. I became a mother nearly four years ago and I think you join a secret club on that day that only other mothers would know. You feel love deeper than you've ever felt it before. You feel fear and worry on a scale you could never imagined before. You see the world through different eyes and the world suddenly becomes a bigger and scarier place when you have a little person relying on you for everything.

On December 2006 a second little miracle came into our lives and I became a mother for the second time. Once again life changed forever and I felt love on a scale I never thought possible. Like all mothers I cannot ever describe in words how much I love my girls. They are my lifeblood and my feelings for them scare me sometimes. The joy they have brought to our lives is beyond description and the love I feel in my bursting heart is overwhelming.

On a day like today I think of my own mother with a renewed sense of admiration. I am always battling with myself over my abilities as a mother, demanding more of myself all the time and sometimes giving myself an unfair ear bashing to be a better one. I want so much to be the best I can be at this job so that I can look back one day and honestly say to myself that I could have done no more. I want my girls to know that I was always there for them, putting them first and being a role model they can be proud of.

I think today of friends who no longer have their mothers and of those poor babies I know who tragically lost their Mummy too soon and I feel eternally grateful for my own blessings. Life is short and if you let it, life will race away from you at a hundred miles an hour.

Today I dedicate this to all those remarkable women who are member of this unique club and I say cheers ladies, you are truly fab!!!!